End of Relationships
I have read the forums here for ages, never signed up. I'm not one for posting lots on the internet and tend to be wildly private. However, seeing another post and having just starting going through something very hard, I thought I would share, because I don't really have any where else to look for support on this one particular issue.
I'm poly, I was involved with 3 ladies, things have been great, 1 for 8 years (8) , 1 for 3 year (3) and one for 6 months (.5). 3 years lady (3) started to look for a guy to date a little while back, well for the past year. We did/do love each other a lot. We were well past the NRE and all that. Last year before she started looking though, she did say she wanted to be exclusive with me, or at least live with me primary and displacing (8). I told her that wouldn't happen, but did offer her cohabitation and her own room in my house. She declined. Things continued after that on a positive note. She met some guys none of which were a fit, and she tended toward guys that were a bit, manipulative boarderline abusive, much like her marriage prior to me was. However I digress. She has recently been talking to another guy that seems to be a VERY good fit for her, and because of this and because she's decided that "mono" is the way to be, we broke up, today. She didn't even want to consider discussing her continuing our relationship with the new guy that's she's not even "officially" dating yet. She just figures it'll be easier.
So I love her and she's made her choice. However she says and I feel the same way that we are "best friends" I don't want to lose that and neither does she, but 1. she doesn't want to disclose our previous relationship to the guy for fear he won't be comfortable with us doing stuff together. 2. I'm really hurt by all this. I feel a little used, I feel like a lot of time has been spent in vain. and 3. I feel like she continues to want the benefits of me as a boyfriend with out the girlfriend duties and my little 14 year old boy inside screams "screw that, not my problem anymore, why would i want to do fun things with her, she made her choice" Along with a host of other feelings that go along with the end of a relationship.
I've lost a very special lover in my life today, and I fear I'm going to lose someone who is truly my best friend in a very short amount of time, and I don't know how to deal with it. Every other break up i've had has been so much different and so much easier to deal with. I know I'm not supposed to have some of the feelings I have but I do.
Well thanks for listening random internet people. I know my post/story is incomplete, but I've been up for like 30 hours or something now and this is how it came out.