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Old 02-18-2012, 09:09 AM
brie brie is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 4
Default is polyamory appropriate in a troubled relationship.

Hello,
I am excited to be on this site and first of all wanted to say I have a great deal of respect for people with the honesty and maturity to maintain happy polyamorous relationships.
I was wondering if anyone with more experience could perhaps give me some advice on the matter. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I love him dearly, he is hot and sexy to me, but lately we have been having problems. I have not had healthy relationships with men in the past and loving and trusting him fully is difficult. Subconsciously I am afraid of being hurt as many people are. I messed up and hid a kiss with someone else from him. Lately I have been extremly jealous of his flirtations and I know its just fear. he says my insecurity is a turnoff. He wants an open relationship, I asked him if he wants to be with other people , he says he doesnt know. He says he wants me to trust him and see that he will come back. I dont want to be in an open relationship, I feel all my energy is going into healing from the past and I feel vulnerable and I want one man right now, I dont want other partners for him or me. I dont want to control him either, But I dont feel powerful in the relationship. I agreed because I love him and I want to give him space. I always thought a poly relationship should be built on the strong foundation of a primary relationship, and I dont feel that now. Does anyone have a different experience of how its worked for them. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Thanks
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