ethical non-monogamy in the Bible belt
Hi there. Clumsysonnet here.
I'm a female, born in September 1982 and raised in western Pennsylvania, USA. I got my BA in Creative Writing at a Christian college. Shortly after graduating from college, I met a truck-driver, Gopokesea, from a journaling site and we fell in love. In 2006, we moved to Kentucky together and a year later we got married. He's my best friend and the love of my life.
Gopokesea is the one responsible for introducing me to "love without fences" as we called it. He believed in its theories but had never practiced it. I found it pretty horrible-sounding at first and didn't want any part of it. But as time went on, I warmed up to the idea of non-monogamy.
I started seeing other people in late 2006, and in 2007 had a very messy, tumultuous relationship with a man who wanted me to leave Gopokesea for him. I dropped the guy of course. Gopokesea and I decided to focus on each other for the next couple years since we obviously weren't ready for this big step. Finally, in mid-2009 we opened up our relationship again.
Fast-forward to the future. Here is my happy little family:
Clumsysonnet: b. 1982, female, courthouse worker in family court division, thespian in community theatre (primarily comedies, musicals, and operas).
Gopokesea: b.1970, my husband, truck-driver and computer nerd with very eclectic taste in music. Been together since June 2005, married since November 2007. He is on the road a lot due to his profession. He is polyamorous too and has dated several women. Currently, he is with just me.
Schyster: b. 1981, my boyfriend. We've been together since January 2010 when we met in a play. He moved in with us in July of that same year and is known by most as "the guy who rents the upstairs of my house." We're two peas in a pod. Schyster works at a grocery store and is a fellow actor and artist. He's very monogamous and wants no one but me.
Dutchman: b. 1983, my other boyfriend. He is a metabolic engineer from the Netherlands. I met him on a dating site in June 2011 and we've been pretty smitten with each other ever since. Sadly, he moved to New Hampshire in September 2011 but we're trying to make the long-distance thing work. We're in the process of working on our relationship...he wants to try dating other women and I'm learning how to deal with my jealousy.
We're not very run-of-the-mill "poly people"...We're all very heterosexual, have no interest in group sex, and have rather vanilla sex, too. We were all raised Christian and all but Dutchman consider ourselves to still be Christian (though we're more like the lazy kind who don't go to church except on holidays). The Christian thing doesn't cause me much guilt (Solomon and David were men of God and had multiple partners...a lot of people did back then!) but knowing so many religious people has caused us to live pretty closeted lives. Our families don't know except for a select few members (like my brother and his wife and a brother-in-law who lives with us) and most people who know us have no idea.
I look forward to being able to read other people's stories and learn more about how to deal with different situations, especially in relation to people who don't understand our lifestyle.