We have a Yahoo group that I post all the music to. Members are supposed to print their own parts and bring them to rehearsals. That doesn't mean that they do.
I send announcements out when I post new music so everybody knows. I still have people ask me at rehearsal if I've posted the new stuff.
It's part of the territory to hold people's hands with this sort of stuff.
The director weighed in with a long post today explaining how we do things (again) and discussing decisions we've made and changes we've made. He also covered the need for a lot more individual practice at home and so on. I think it was nice reinforcement of what I'd already covered. He posted to the full list, thanked everybody for not airing the issue in public (deflecting the fuss made by the second guy by pointing out our list is not public) and dealt with it in an open, straightforward manner--which is how we always try to do it.
Now we'll see how the first guy responds.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.