Thanks BD. Hugs work today
I think you got it right. It already feels like a break up and its only been a few days that we havent talked while we make these decisions. Finding it hard to stay cool, the notes from everyone here are helping.
Re: being or not being poly.... I could be with others and stay with him while they work it out, but the 2 problems would be that it doesnt meet my need of not being a secondary (Albeit perhaps we could dispense with that term during this period and just call it a readjustment phase for all whereby I"m allowed to date). But 2nd, it would drive him crazy if I was with others. He doesnt share plus he isnt really choosing to leave me now. He's already said he'd choose me if it came down to it.. I think if there wasnt such an open ended time contstraint on their reconnection period, there would be more to work with here.
With him, I am quite willing to be poly even if he left his wife, I would not be opposed to another person down the line . However I wouldnt make the same mistakes....there would be awareness up front in establishing needs/boundaries, etc. We all learned hard and on the fly.
Thanks again for the hugs.
Originally Posted by BrigidsDaughter
It sounds to me as if you're monagamous in a relationship with a poly man. I say this because if you were truly polyamarous your self; you would not feel like your connection with your boyfriend needed to be severed in order for you to find another relationship.
I know that you want your relationship with him to workout the way that you want, but that may just not be in the cards. Taking a break is almost as hard as breaking up completely. All I can do is offer you hugs. *hugs*