Thanks, AB, I'll try to back off a bit and trust him to deal with his parents accordingly...I'm such a justice chaser, I just hate seeing good, sweet kids get it hard from their parents when they aren't doing anything wrong. Just going against the grain.
Chris, I disagree that your parents were ever okay with polyamwork..your dad seemed to receive our confession well that night in late December, but the next day he was harping and berating and every day since. I think your dad wanted to put up a nice front in front of company and then lashed out when I left, telling you how crazy our relationship is and how it will never work. Your mom was the first to be a little weird about us hanging out and sitting together on your couch, but she's since calmed down and is operating opposite your dad's opinion...which I know is super awkward for you
My parents don't know bc they don't have to. My hubby and I have a house and even though they only live in the next town, I've already mentioned that they can be assuming and jump to conclusions. Even though the are liberal and chill, they both had infidelity issues with each other at various points in their relationship. They worked through it, but I imagine my situation might sound like theirs and any differences, though hugely significant, would be overlooked. If I'm hanging out with a guy friend with whom I maybe had a slight sexual history with in high school, my mom will respond differently depending on her mood. If she calls and I tell her who I'm with it might go, "Oh, tell him I say hi" or "You better stop hanging out with so maybe guys, especially if you used to fool around with him. Michael will divorce you." I'm like...."Mom...Michael doesn't give two craps about me hanging out with guy friends, regardless of a ten yr old history we might have had. He is friends with them too and he knows everything is good. He trusts me, these relationships are different now and we're good friends." She still occassionally reverts back to the 50's and 60's when she grew up and thinks married women shouldn't have guy friends (even though she does...) She doesn't always feel this way...just sometimes. My dad thinks monogamy is a joke, so he probably wouldn't care if my husband insisted he was fine with it. But I figure there is no reason to worry them, stress them out, or cause secondhand grief. They love my friends and we all hang out (even my in laws too, it's pretty cool...I have an awesome group of friends) so Chris is still involved that way and is welcome to participate in our warm and loving social circle.
Anyway, there is the lowdown on why my parents don't know...in case anyone was sniffing out a hypocrite... :P