I am not a Pagan (at least not yet) but I am very interested. I have also known for some time that I am poly. My wife is not poly and is very much against it. I am not in a continuous poly relationship b/c of this. I am also a nudist.
In my Pagan studies, I have come across terms like "skyclad" and "sex magick." Being a nudist, being skyclad would seem quite natural. Sex magick seems a lot like tantra, or spiritual sex. One author even equated the two, so right or wrong, that's the bent I am coming from.
I have some friends that also believe in sex magick. At one time when my wife and I were separated last year, I had some very positive experiences with them. In fact, we openly discussed having a poly relationship.
Spiritual sex is something my wife has no interest in but I really believe in it. Question: Does my marriage trump my spiritual beliefs? I am trying hard not to make a justification for "cheating." It is really frustrating not to have this level of intimacy though; and I don't feel it is wrong to want that with more than one person.
For the record, I decided last year to stay in my marriage for a variety of reasons. I didn't get into a poly relationship with the other couple for this reason. But we are still very close and I am sure things could get intimate if I wanted it to. I am very open with them regarding where I am at but it is so frustrating not to be able to act on what seems natural.
I used to be Mormon and my beliefs have slowly evolved a lot over the last 7 years. It is becoming more difficult to stay in a marriage where I can't do what comes naturally to me. I love my wife in so many ways, but we also have many differences. I am having second thoughts if I made the right decision. My wife has done nothing wrong - it is me that has changed. We just have different preferences and levels of comfort. There is a lot more to this story but I'll leave it here for the time being. I would appreciate any thoughts you have. Thanks.