hi guys, thanks for responding (i added paragraphs so hopefully its a lot easier to read)
so, to answer a few of your questions, i have not had a night alone with A for almost a month (i know, its a bit messed up), and ill tell you why- K has some scary heart problems that happen in the middle of the night. A. likes and wants to be with her when those happen. I know it can't go on forever like this, but, it is what it is now, and i want to respect the fact that A wants to be there for her for those episodes.
I am not currently getting counseling, but i just discovered that my work offers 8 free sessions, so, i am thinking about doing that.
Some other things to consider: A doesnt like to go to K's place because K has a bunch of rommates (and theyre kind of judgy). K feels confortable at our place too, so, it's sort of something that i need to deal with.
What's also hard for me is that K and I used to have fun together! We used to fool around, and joke, and all that good stuff, and I also feel like ive lost a friend in all this.
I guess I just want to be able to deal with the couch cuddling and canoodling without feeling like I want to roll my eyes or I want that from A. also.