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Old 02-16-2012, 06:20 PM
Wants2BEqual Wants2BEqual is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 41
Default I could go "on hold", except for 2 things.

Hi Drtalon

I could go "on hold", except for 2 things. First, I have been on hold pretty much for years already. There is always something keeping us from making a stable relationship (her search for work, his loss of job, his search for work, a lawsuit they had to work on, working through her depression, etc). Second, I've just for the first time been able to clearly stand by my 2 key needs, which are getting out of this "years long limbo" and to not accept being a secondary. If I go on hold, i'm allowing myself to both stay in limbo, as well as continue to be a secondary. Also, I'm truly not able to "move on" to other relationships while with him. Staying tethered wont release my heart.

Thanks for the ideas

l
Quote:
Originally Posted by drtalon View Post
Can you be "on hold" with them and also move on with a positive life? Do you have reasons you can't or don't want to pursue other relationships while they take time to reconnect? I think it would be unreasonable for them to expect you to remain an absent and abstinent member of a closed triad with them, so it would seem to be up to you and your feelings.
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