I could go "on hold", except for 2 things. First, I have been on hold pretty much for years already. There is always something keeping us from making a stable relationship (her search for work, his loss of job, his search for work, a lawsuit they had to work on, working through her depression, etc). Second, I've just for the first time been able to clearly stand by my 2 key needs, which are getting out of this "years long limbo" and to not accept being a secondary. If I go on hold, i'm allowing myself to both stay in limbo, as well as continue to be a secondary. Also, I'm truly not able to "move on" to other relationships while with him. Staying tethered wont release my heart.
Thanks for the ideas
Originally Posted by drtalon
Can you be "on hold" with them and also move on with a positive life? Do you have reasons you can't or don't want to pursue other relationships while they take time to reconnect? I think it would be unreasonable for them to expect you to remain an absent and abstinent member of a closed triad with them, so it would seem to be up to you and your feelings.