Thanks RedPepper. I've only recently realized that being a secondary is not for me. My virtue is my vice...patience.
he tried to leave her twice already, but went back immediately as the pain was too much (I didnt ask or ever suggest he do that, and in fact the first time I encouraged him to take some time to think it over and not rush)
WE've broken up many times and the pain is unbearable. We swore going into this we wouldnt break, but its looking so obvious that's the way it will go. Thank you for being there.
Originally Posted by redpepper
Five years of being a secondary? That sucks! Ya, I would find someone else to fill the role he hasn't in that many years. If his wife moves back then you will have less of a relationship by the sounds of it. I think you are wise to prepare for the end. Metamour wives who are in dislike and struggling tend to "win" in the end in my experience. I would prepare for that too.
Stupid primary/secondary thing! Gah! Hate that shit. Love is love, to me there is no catagorizing it and controlling it. Take a look at some threads tagged "secondaries" "secondary" etc and see you are not alone.