Originally Posted by redpepper
If you are mono, from what I get from Mono, you are in love with someone, committed to that and when feelings arise for others it means that those same feelings have died out for your partner. .
This is a great description of how I work, Lilo
You are absolutely right. That is one of the reasons I didn't even entertain the idea of "trying" poly. Every new beginning is the end of another for me.
It's important to remember that there is an imprint left behind even after the intimate connection has been broken. I still love my ex wife but it is a different love; a type of love I can have for multiple people just like that for family members. That's why the "you can love more than one child" argument holds no water with most monos; it is a far different love. My immediate reaction was "I can't believe you just compared the nurturing love of a parent to the kind of love that includes fucking".
You'll notice I did not even attempt to describe how I think poly people work..because I simply don't and won't try to fake understanding...I simply love someone who I know can love many
Careful using monkeys and children in your explanation LOL!!
Stick to what you feel inside..be honest, don't try to frame it to suit what you think she wants to hear. Start honest or any trip down this path will be a lot tougher.