Originally Posted by openornot
We talked last night and I told him I was open to him bringing someone else into his life. He swore he was not having a sexual relationship with anyone, and that he did not want to open the relationship because he was worried about him being jealous of my other partners. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I had seen the text messages, but I do feel like we made progress.
Thanks to everyone for your advice. I think I'm going to watch for other signs and confront him when it seems logical. Afterall, it's not like I want anything to change other than the hiding.
I'm not seeing the progress. He's still denying a relationship he is having. Not just denying, but blatantly LYING to you. You've now given him two chances to come clean and be open about it and he has refused. I don't accept lying in my relationships. Ever. My husband made the mistake of flat out lying about a gift he'd bought me one time, and it still bugs me. Unless it is a clever twist on words or something like that to hide a surprise (a good one), I believe lying is wrong
, especially in a relationship where good communication is key.
Sure, I guess you got the reason that he doesn't want to have a fully open relationship (because he doesn't want YOU to have the option to be with others), but other than that what have you gained from this discussion?
Also, why couldn't you admit to seeing the texts? Not trying to be harsh, but this puts YOU in the lying category too.
Once again, I'm not trying to be harsh, but I just don't think either of you are handling the situation very well. Granted, I have been pretty blessed with a great line of communication with my one lasting, long-term, deeply committed relationship.