I think we're butting heads over the classic case of semantics. What's apparent, only, is that you and I use the word gender differently.
We're speaking through the English language, and most English-speaking people have reached a consensus on what the word means. It gets an eye roll at best, and is obnoxious at worst, when somebody insists that his or her new definition of a word prevails.
If we keep going in this direction, it's just going to turn into you being maybe irked with me. I can't come up with a good reason to contribute to your discomfort. So, let's agree to disagree.