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Old 02-15-2012, 01:07 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Either monogamy or polyamory can "fit" with any combination of gender identity, expression, biology, or sexual orientation/attractions.
I agree that gender identity and sexual orientation/attractions can be mixed with a mono or poly identity because they are orientations.

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Therefore, I see both as a practice, approach, or structure that one can choose or gravitate toward, regardless of where on any of these continuums the person is, as far as identity.
Choosing is an option for some I guess. That is what I understand from you and sourgirl and others. It isn't for me. I am poly in orientation, even if I might choose to be in a mono situation. Others might be mono in orientation and choose to be in a poly situation in order to express their bisexual identities/orientations or for other reasons. That to me is a lifestyle choice of either monogamy or polyamory identity.

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I guess you could call polyamory or monogamy possible identities in terms of how one approaches creating and managing relationships, kind of like identifying as introverted or extroverted in approaching social situations, but that would not be the same as gender or sexual identity.
I agree, gender/sexual identity is not the same as gender/sexual orientation. It seems to follow along the lines that introversion and extroversion does. I would agree with that... that is another identity that comes from an orientation though no?

It seems to me that orientation is something that one just is. Something that we are born with. Identity is how one chooses to express themselves and what we were born with. Some gay people are gay in orientation, but don't identify as such. They have chosen not to for whatever reason (religious beliefs sometimes being one)... it doesn't change that they were created gay I don't think. Its about choosing what one expresses and takes as their identity.

On this visual (very cute btw )I would identify my poly as being an orientation and an identity.

Identifying as poly is two fold perhaps.... those who identify as poly in lifestyle choice and those that identify poly because of their orientation.
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Last edited by redpepper; 02-15-2012 at 01:29 AM.
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