I think I would find some new friends if the boundary thing doesn't work out. They don't sound like the kindhearted, empathetic, supportive friends I look for. Ya, I have had some friends for years that don't get me in terms of who I chose to pick for a relationship, but I don't talk to them about it and have other friends to do that with. Perhaps you need to work that out for your life too?
Originally Posted by soulfly
The whole time, they neither know, nor care to know, that our circle has never grown beyond 4 people, and that we built our relationship over time, the way any monogamous couple would have done, through years of close interaction, sharing, compassion, and struggling through all the hardships life will send.
This quote concerns me a little because it sounds to me as if you are trying to say "look, we aren't doing THAT kind of poly, its just this little/tensy wincey kind of poly. Its not all bad." Why would you want to have friends that deplete you so much that you feel as if you have to justify anything you do. It sounds as if you are trying to convince them in your head that you are just like monogamous people. Why? Who cares what they think... don't they know that "normal" is the new "weird?!" Geesh
What if you find yourself in love with someone else above those in your relationship life? What then? Would you feel as if you have to prove to them something?
Ya, bail on them getting it. If they can't just accept then I would move on.... and spend more time here would ya!
Obviously we all relate to you. Maybe you will see that you are not as alone as you think you are thanks to the Internet.