karatekid, you're the bf! Hi! Glad you're here too, I'd like to hear your side of the story.
I think lots of young men like older women. I'm 56 and have dated plenty since i became single and fully poly in late '08.
I had a long term relationship with a lovely young man who was 19 when we met, one month away from becoming 20. We were together for 2 years, had a lot of fun and fond times.
He didnt want a gf his own age, because he was very serious about his studies and future career in finance, and didnt want to be distracted by a needy immature young lady. After he graduated and got a good job, 70s hrs a week, he drifted away from me.
Now, your relationship with karatekid is different. You're friends, close in age.
His parents wanted him to either settle down with one serious gf, or date around casually? I'm not sure which they want. Either way, he's found you, gets along with your husband and your friends, and knows he eventually wants to graduate and get a job and find a wife and have kids. I think his parents are overreacting because, in their conservative mindset, somehow he will become "ruined." Neglect his studies, become some kind of Don Juan, never give them grandchildren?
I guess parents always worry about that... goodness knows, my oldest, who is 25, has dropped out of college and put her partner's needs first. I don't like it either. She just has a semester or two to go, she is gifted and intelligent, and here she is, working at a Walmart in Texas. But it's her decision... I'm letting her make her own choices and mistakes. Heck, she's a Sagittarius, you can't tell them a thing anyway. I'm just trying to be supportive and a shoulder to cry on, long distance (I'm in Massachusetts).
I'd recommend, as other have, to just let him come to your place. Stop going to their place and cuddling him in front of his parents. Keep a low profile and let things simmer down. And karatekid, keep a close hold on your phone! I can't believe your parents looked at your texts. Make sure your computer is secure as well.
Good luck, kids!
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37