I also agree with nyc.
As soon as I started reading the post and got to that line, my answer was "nope. nuh-uhn. no way."
Poly is never a solution to anything.
Poly will take any problems you have and put them under a giant magnifying glass.
As a poly wired person, it has always been critical for me that my existing relationship(s) be on 100% solid ground. The way I'm wired, if my other relationships have problems, I want to fix those. The idea of starting another relationship when my current one is in trouble does not even occur to me. The trade-off is that when my existing relationship(s) are good and grounded, then when I meet a new person, it also magnifies all the awesomeness in my life.
The analogy I use is: starting a second relationship when your first one is in trouble is like building a 2nd floor addition on your house when the foundation is crumbling and the basement is full of cracks. What would Holmes say?
I get it, you can't do monogamy. That's cool, neither can I. Poly is a solution to that, for yourself, in your life. I 100% guarantee it will NOT fix any problems in your marriage.
You will definitely have to deal with your hypocrisy though. It's just not cool to give yourself freedoms that you're not willing to share with others.
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).
The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 02-13-2012 at 08:07 AM.