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Old 02-13-2012, 02:39 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,188

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Elsewhere, in another group, a woman said the following as a result of her observations about people and their opinions on triads being about letting them come about as they will rather than "bringing someone in":

I have to say I am surprised to see that only a minority ..... endors[e] the concept of inclusion with the majority seeming to prefer separation of affairs so to speak. Why is this? Jealousy? Too blurry/complicated? ....why bother with false constructs of separateness when we are already connected energetically as souls?

There are so many things I see wrong with her statement.

A minority endorses inclusion? She must be using an odd definition of inclusion, for anybody who has embraced the notion of entertaining the addition of another relationship at all is being inclusive. Inclusion is not limited to one specific method of involving a new person.

False constructs of separateness? Excuse me? What sort of nonsense is that? Aside from the New Age slant of that, there are no false constructs of any sort when a relationship is forming--the relationship is constructing itself via interactions of the participants. Sheesh!

Same goes for "energetically connected as souls." Skipping the New Age beliefs contained in that (which are certainly not shared by everybody), the notion that everybody shares the same connection with everybody else flies in the face of actuality.

Ascribing negative characteristics to something she doesn't understand is also not useful in serious discussions. Relationships unfolding as a dance of mutuality is somehow due to jealousy? Um...WTF?
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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