Originally Posted by NewCrobuzon
Alrighty, I guess I was mistakenly projecting a bit of my own situation onto yours; hence the confusion. I also find myself in a relationship getting less sex than I would like, and for me, sex with random other people would be quite satisfying. This may be one of the general differences between the sexes though.
First, NO need to apologize. If I sounded offended - I was not. Just the inherent flaws of communicating with strangers through typed words only, I guess. It is easy get the wrong impression.
Having said that, please don't overreact to this next statement either. I would be VERY careful categorizing the "general differences of the sexes" on a community board like this. I mean, we are all here because we don't fit the mold, right?
I have actually found that my views on sex fit the stereotypical male far more than the female. And I don't think that makes me weird, I think it makes the stereotypes a crock of bull. Women love sex. We love it for the zing factor every bit as much as men. But we are brought up to believe that if we like sex the same as men that makes us "that kind of girl." Well, I am that kind of girl and proud of it! Oi, don't get me started on gender-typing.
Anyway, I will stick to my personal feelings and not claim to speak for all of woman-kind. I am a very aggressive lover and prefer passion to tenderness. I love a good snuggle, but it does not turn me on. In fact, being cuddly will pretty much kill my sexual buzz. For me, they are difference emotions and impulses. On the other hand, my DH is very much into tenderness during lovemaking. We had some awful times in our relationship trying to force our sexual desires to be completely compatible. And it almost destroyed our marriage. Accepting our sexual differences was very liberating.
Now, I am not saying that he and I never like sex together. We are very much in love and we do enough it. But monogamy, for us, would be like never leaving the house. We love our home, but we appreciate coming home even more after being away. And if we never left it would start to feel cramped and boring.
Okay, that is kind of a lame metaphor, but you get the idea. It is the best I can do after working a long day and still being awake at 11:18pm.
I kind of got off on a tangent here, but one other thing I did want to say is that I am not closed to the idea of some random sex occasionally, in fact I would like it for the more kinky elements of my sexuality. I have a domme streak that I would like to let loose, but I do not want that all of the time and I don't want to have a social relationship with my sub. But in general, I'd like the chance to enjoy the seduction a lot longer than I would get meeting someone online and heading straight to a motel.
And with that, I must go.