It's not about "right to know," it's about "responsibility to ask."
Did you ever ask her if she was seeing other people?
Did you ever ask her to disclose her sexual history?
Did you ever ask her if she would be willing to have a semi-committed relationship with you?
"Respect" only comes into play if you asked her these questions and she lied. You can't fault a person for not answering questions you didn't ask.
It's 2012, people. The buck stops here.
I'm free to go around making all the assumptions I want about other people. But when I find out those assumptions are wrong, I have nobody but myself to blame for making them.
Even if you take polyamory out of the picture, it's a fact that many monogamous people "date around." Some people call it "playing the field" or "keeping my options open." That's why it's common for new couples to explicitly agree to "be in a relationship" and to be monogamous. Otherwise, it's assumed that they're seeing other people.
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).
The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 02-11-2012 at 10:27 PM.