Keep reading here. There is much to learn and eventually there is hope that you will see that perhaps you are born this way and identify as poly (some take on a poly "lifestyle" or dating style). There is nothing to be guilty about or to feel selfish about. For some poly people that would seem like you should feel guilty for being born with black hair or being right handed. It is what it is. Once you have learned what poly is to you then hopefully you will be able to present yourself to the world with that incorporated into your character. Maybe you will be a full representation of yourself if you learn and educate yourself and others.
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