...and I guess the other difficult thing to get my head around is that, having been around since before I even met my bf, this girl is around for the long term. She's not just going to disappear, their friendship is important to him as he doesn't have a large group of friends to socialise with and I definitely don't want to damage this friendship. I just need to accept that she is and going to remain a big part of his (and our) lives, sex or not sex. I do feel better for no longer trying to fight this, letting go of possessiveness and I'm hopeful that I can meet her a few more times and for things to be less compartmentalised (I've been seeing him for nearly two years, only met her for the first time last month so you might be able to understand that this has been getting bigger and scarier in my head). I think I will just share all my anxieties with him, but ultimately leave it up to him. I trust him and know he is a good man, even if he might end up making a mistake on this one. I do hope that he'll realise it's a bad move when left to think about it for himself but I need to prepare for the possibility he might do it anyway.
Thank you all for the support and advice xxx