Umm,..Do you love Jay ?
I need to ask because you say you love this other woman, love 'this', love our opinions,..but I haven`t read about you being in love for Jay. It reads a bit like she was the 2nd place door prize 5 years ago.
Is she a partner, or a partner you are in-love with ? That could change the type of advice given to you.
Not a judgement, this is a serious question. Not everyone is all goo-goo over their primary.