Welcome to the forum!
'fraid I haven't any advice, but I think you're awfully brave for living your life full out. You've come to the right place I think.
(and I love your nick)
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein
Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)