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Old 02-08-2012, 10:41 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Red0824 View Post
This one, I feel like I'm in the right, asking him to be home every night, at least until the baby is born. I tell him I feel vulnerable in this stage, if she comes tonight, I would have to wait till he answers and gets home, or drive myself there. However, this child is so cozy, the chance of that happening is like 50 50 Lol. But like I said, he is struggling to make both parties happy, this is the second girl we have been through during this pregnancy, the other made the choice herself. This one seems to think she can be ok as long as I am.
I would ask him to take a break for longer than that - at least for the child's first year. You will need him after the baby is born. Haven't you ever known anyone who had a baby? Many couples invite a relative to stay with them for a while because it is so much work, even when two parents share it all. I would be worrying more about how he will share in the parenting than how his gf can handle it. You are bringing a new little life into the world - he needs to participate! Has he taken any parenting courses or workshops or done any kind of preparation? Someone needs to drive home for him how time- and energy-consuming a responsibility it is to have a baby and raise a child. Not to mention sleep deprivation.

If she cares for him, she'll wait. Is he so obsessed with "being poly" and developing additional relationships that he ignores the relationship he already has with you? Maybe if he were more considerate and included you more, romanced you and took you on hot dates as much as he takes anyone else, you wouldn't have such a hard time with his dating and would be more accepting of it. Maybe you can invite him to join here and read this thread, and get some feedback for himself.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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