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Old 11-18-2009, 11:53 PM
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beatbox151 beatbox151 is offline
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 18

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Just so you know, It took me a very long time, a lot of dates and many returned messages like that one to find what worked for my husband and my lives. I had just about given up when I met Mono...

Stay strong and let crap like that flow off your back. You could however point out to this woman that she is obviously not in the know about Poly and that OKC is where most of us search for others. AFF is for swingers and that is why you aren't there, because you aren't a swinger. Perhaps she will be interested enough to carry on a conversation... perhaps not. But I reckon a little educating doesn't hurt and only makes Poly more acceptable.
My wife and I laughed about it afterward so I'm not bothered by it. I'm certainly not worried about what she thinks of me.

But going off topic:
Being poly has totally changed my outlook on marriage. I see this as an evolution in thought and I don't think I could, or would go back. Eliminating jealousy, deep trust, honesty, communication...these are the things I need in a relationship and it seemed to me before that all of it was lacking.

Now its not back all the way yet, but it has made remarkable improvement in a short period of time. And it all came from a mutual wanting to stay together. So much so that we are able to let each other go, if that makes sense.

I am not perfect, and I am not always going to see eye to eye with my wife. So she has someone who can fill in the gaps. I want her to be happy.

On the other hand she wants the same for me. She has been very supportive of me finding someone and I have found that I can talk to her about it....I love that I can do that now.....

The other night we were at an Italian Restaurant near my house and we were being served by the waitress. And she was beautiful. Red hair, nice smile, great body, and I told my wife that I liked her. Well the meal went on and I tried to talk to her at the table, except I kinda got nervous and stuttered a bit. My wife laughed and thought it was cute.

Well, I didn't say anything else, cuz I was kind of embarrassed, but I just love that we can talk like that to each other now...I felt really good for the rest of the night just because of that.
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