View Single Post
Old 02-08-2012, 07:37 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552

Originally Posted by NovemberRain View Post
I also don't see anything wrong with having sex with a willing, but uninterested partner. But I approach it from a different perspective. My views are informed from The Courage To Heal (a fantastic book for survivors of sexual abuse). They talk about how willingness can lead to interest. It can be a form of communication. It can be an act of love. 'I don't have an interest in sex, but I want you to know that I'm still here and I love you.'
I agree with this. I haven't read the book NovemberRain mentioned, but I remember looong ago my mom talking with me about how sometimes even if you're not interested in sex for sex's sake, you can make the effort to show your partner you love them and just enjoy the closeness and connection involved and be satisfied making your partner happy. Of course, degree of disinterest matters too. Being willing is a good sign, and I'd probably try to take advantage of that at least a time or two before dismissing it completely.

I'm sorry your friend was so close-minded, though. Regardless of her thoughts on the matter, you AND your DH have made the choices and decisions you feel will work best and she should be supportive, rather than trying to tell you what you "need" to do.
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
Reply With Quote