Thread: Turnabout
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Old 02-08-2012, 04:25 PM
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Carma Carma is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 478

I had a sort of revelation this past weekend. To view Sundance as a brother, instead of a husband or lover. So far, it seems to be working. It frees me to love him again, to not be so jealous, or resentful, or enraged.

I wouldn't go so far as to be happy for him, that he's found someone else to love.... My ego just can't go there yet! There are glimmers of that, though.

What I am happy about, is that I am learning to love MYSELF. It is the start of a wonderful love affair! I have had these interludes before, but I am glad to be focusing on me once again. Freed from the role of wife and lover, from being who he needs me to be or who I want him to be (to fulfill things in me that I can and should be filling, myself), I am open to a lot of new growth and self-discovery.

I am grateful for what I learned from my relationship with Butch, too. So much of what I admired in him, I can now develop in me.

We are working on a dissolution of the marriage, so there is going to be some ugliness, as we divide money and property, reassemble and redefine our family, and experience loss and disappointment. But -- I am glad for an up day, today.
Formerly married to Sundance
Boyfriend -- Butch Cassidy
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