Thanks for the post!
How long have we been open? I have realized that he was poly for about four or five years. He has been so patient and caring about my needs and didn't want to upset me that he didn't really express it until he wanted to make a relationship sexual.
How many girlfriends does he have? Well I would have to say three right now, besides me. Some are at different levels than others. One is pretty much non sexual, but the three of us are great friends. I love her and think that she is a wonderful person.
Another was my best friend in high school and jealousy pretty much killed our relationship. We still talk, but its not the same.
The third is a bit odd because we are okay friends, but she's always been competitive...it's just her nature. Which sometimes makes things difficult for me.
Weird thing is the second two are not poly. But they seem willing for a sexual relationship with him. He is very caring and both the second two have major medical issues...and he listens. I am not sure if he just fills something that their husband's can't? Like I said he is an amazing person. I understand why they love him.
The first one is special to both of us and she is poly, she does not have a primary. I am not comfortable with sexual relation with her because I am paranoid about std's. She is clean and respectable, but she does have relationships with other men from time to time. If I have sex with someone I want it to be in a small circle, not swinging. It just doesn't feel safe. We have told her and she respects that. I do not want to limit her to us and I think she understands that too. I hope she does find a primary as that I think she wants to, but he must be poly. I think limiting to her to us would inhibit that nor would she want that.