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Old 02-08-2012, 12:36 PM
Red0824 Red0824 is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 9
Default Lost and need help.

I feel so conflicted and lost. My husband and I have been struggling with poly for 6 years. Or rather, I have been struggling and making him miserable in the process. I am mono, ive tried to deny that and say I'm poly because I thought it would make it easier to deal. But it doesn't work and here I am. sad and making things worse for him. He is in a new relationship, the girl is nice, we've met and hung out and I like her. But with every girl, I freak out on, I feel like if I don't insert some dominance that I have no control over the situation. I feel the need to say, he is mine don't try and take him for yourself. And of course, everytime I do that, each girl gets scared. When hubby and I are together we are happy, unless the new girl is brought up and always by me. We are expecting our first child any day now and throughout the pregnancy we have dealt with his new relationships rather rockily. I cant blame the hormones entirely, but the last 2 months have been the worst. Accepting that I am not poly, that he is and I am mono, how do we make this work? I know it can, ive read about it. How do mono people become happy in a poly realtionship? We've talked about splitting up, but neither of us want that. We love each other too much and still have so much to grow on, but I don't know how to get over the feelings I have about him being poly. I know this is who he is, but it hurts. And I cant stop projecting these hurt feelings onto him. At this point its either leave or deal. I'm choosing to accept him as he is and love him for it. Any thoughts on how to do this without making him feel shitty about all of this? Again, I know being poly and mono work for some people, I think it can work for us, I just don't know how to begin that process.
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