Thanks for the continued responses- the input, feedback and reflection has been really helpful.
Things are still as they were when I first posted---I guess my main approach right now is to avoid jumping to quick conclusions and decisions, while also being as honest with myself and my others as possible. The counselling is helping, and is reaffirming my own process around identifying what I truly want in relationship, and then reflecting on my options. Well, I'm not actually reflecting on options yet...I am enjoying what I have and trying not to feel the pressure of wanting something more/else. There is no rush....
I do feel very conflicted many days though...I suppose I innately have a monogamous mindset that seeks to build a life out of the emotions I share with my OSO....and the polyamory is an accommodating to my husband's desires, which I understand and support on a logical, practical level, but which isn't my own innate disposition or desire - despite clearly enjoying my own other relationship. Its complex. (when is it not though right?)
My own thoughts and honesty about this process with my husband certainly stirred up a lot of instability in him, and has propelled him towards engaging with me a bit more on some of the topics that are issues for me....I'm hoping there will be some long term growth between us....and in the meantime I am also deeply enjoying the connection my OSO share, in this moment as it is...in many ways I am blessed to be experiencing this: I've never been loved like this before in my life and it is extraordinary...
Anyway, thats my update!