Originally Posted by secretposter
Now that she is destroyed, I realise with horror that she was all I wanted, after all. I'm not poly. I made a selfish, stupid, mistake.
My wife is young, and beautiful, and sweet and good, and I threw everything she gave me away on a dumb whim.
Loving, innocent, wife now in intensive counselling and marriage destroyed.
Don't understand how she can want or love or forgive me when I've treated her so badly and devastated what she gave me.
Stop hating yourself. She is not "destroyed." I'm sure she is emotionally devastated, but not destroyed. However, I am also sure your wife has her own strengths to call upon which will get her through this.
You now have the opportunity to move forward and rebuild your marriage on a foundation of honesty. Get into couples counseling with her, keep talking to her, work on things together now. People do bounce back from such transgressions, marriages can be repaired. All is not lost.