I think this is really her first foray into Poly. She may well be doing that, I don't know.
The relationship was building up nicely, talking about visiting my parents and stuff but since New Year, I've hardly had anything to do with her since she's been busy with other stuff...
What I meant is that there has been some communication debt that we've incurred that I need to discuss with her to find out where our relationship is, which is a general relationship problem, rather than Poly specific. I guess actually in a way it is a perfectly Poly issue, in that she is not exclusively in a relationship with me.
Thanks again for your words, incredibly helpful. I'd been considering your first point and it's reassuring that someone feels similar.