This situation sounds exactly the same as a thread that you and I participated on ...one very late night/early morning last summer. Do you happen to remember the OP's name, month or date, or what section it was in....I'm guessing mid June or July in the General discussions section. If that women is still active here it might be helpful to hear what worked for her, how long these feeling lasted...or if they ended up changing their dynamic because of it.
From what I remember the consensus of the group was fake it til you make it. Meaning use the romantic thoughts and imagines of the new lover during those times with your husband.
There have been people that have wanted to change there relationship structure over these type issues. I was actually one of those people....so it happens. And there are a handful of threads around discussing that topic as well....not that you need to consider that at this point...just food for thought.
Good luck to you both.