Since about Sep last year, Ive never raised the subject of Poly, FWB, Swinging, or even "open marriage" - I'm avoiding all labels, I dont want her to have that automatic freak reaction to a word that most people have, and her being so conservative, I think she would have.
Though I did mention the other day, over a tea with her and a friend, how a "Dont ask dont tell" policy works for some couples. They didnt flinch and neither did she.
Yesterday, (after some amazing nookie!), she was a bit chatty, and she said "i'm so glad you came along, or else I'd be on the shelf!". I told her she was talking crap, and I reminded her that last year she told me about the boys that used to come and visit her. And then I said "and what about that lecturer who fancied you?"
and then 2 good things happened...
ONE - she said she is now "enjoying the freedom that youve given me" (relating to allowing her to chat, flirt, develop relationship/s, and get complimented with/by men). so she feels free - not my words, hers ! I am sooo chuffed that she feels that, and chuffed the SHE came up with that name/word.
TWO - She said she's been in touch with the lecturer on FB, and I said "oh following his status?" and she said no, shes been chatting to him on FB - again I'm chuffed she feels that freedom!! (sidenote - we've moved country, but we are going back to where this guy lives, and he's asked to see her - I hope I can arrange that).
I feel she's progressed a little (away from conservative tradition) - again, I'm just chuffed she came up with the name, and chuffed that she feels this way !
Male M, struggling noob.