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Old 02-07-2012, 12:05 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,863
Default Tolerances

I have noticed a shift in my tolerances since Dude and I got together. Since I don't date and am never particularly "looking" for a partner I can't comment on that aspect of things but...

Pre-Dude I was sometimes craving physical affection when MrS was not in the mood, and this would make me cranky and critical (which, of course, did nothing to get him in the mood). Since Dude is ALWAYS in the mood I am never lacking in this department...resulting in a less-cranky, less-critical Jane (when I need physical reassurance from MrS specifically - now I just go stand next to him at his computer and he can kiss me or cuddle me or just lean his head against me and I am all good without having to press him for more than he wants).

On the other hand, I have become hyperaware of MrS's feelings (or my perception of them - he doesn't tend to bring things up unless he is REALLY bothered by something). If I think that MrS is at all put out or upset with me I get really anxious and distracted (most of this is completely out of proportion - I'm working on it). I think I have this underlying fear that he is NOT as okay with our current situation as he seems (even though he reassures me this is not the case).
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 02-07-2012 at 12:09 AM. Reason: expanded explanation
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