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Old 02-06-2012, 10:32 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
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I don't think polyamory "makes you" anything. I mean, it's not like a magic spell gets cast over you when you decide to have poly relationships and suddenly your personality changes. As an approach or structure for your relationships, poly allows you to see more opportunities and more options to choose from in your responses and behaviors, but it is your own inherent wisdom and sense of who you are and what you want that fuels your choices, I believe. I will add that I think poly does set the stage for adopting and learning new skills, and getting better at old ones that one might not have exercised much prior to living polyamorously.

Now, it may be, because you are newly poly, that you're feeling like a kid in a candy store and are realizing that you can have more and more and more... but I think once the newness dies down, and as long as you stay grounded and true to yourself, you might find yourself willing to put more work and be more patient with relationships that are not totally as satisfying in all aspects as you would have wanted when you were mono, simply because you know you get those other needs satisfied by someone else.
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 02-07-2012 at 12:12 AM.
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