Originally Posted by RfromRMC
I wouldn't say poly makes a person less patient but it makes you prioritize what type of BS you put up with.
If you look out for yourself as a top priority and then look out for your primary partner as your next highest priority, then that leaves less energy to deal with crap from anyone else.
A single poly without a primary will likely not seem less patient than a mono is.
Yes, this is kind of how I was thinking. I tended always in mono relationships to hang on for far longer than I should--I'd get that "this won't work" gut feeling and just simply hang on and on trying to make it work. Now when I get that feeling, I lose interest in trying to make it work almost immediately. My primary says he feels like that is fine and healthy and I shouldn't worry so much about whether I'm "too picky" or intolerant of problems in my secondary relationships.
I have another friend who tells me he thinks maybe my poly model is just a secure primary + more casual dating--but I haven't felt these relationships were casual. They were love relationships, they just didn't work out except in the short-term.