Props to you
I just want to give you props for working so hard on your own issues, and doing what you know is right for you. Wouldn't it be AWESOME if we could make other people understand where we're coming from and have everyone behave like grown-ups on the same page? Sucks that its not always possible, but kudos for you for owning up to yer own part of it and being a solid partner. Inspirational. Mebbe she'll come around over time - might not believe that you're capable of moving past jealousy, or might be jealous/scared of you!