I remembered something today that's relevant to this conversation.
I've always considered myself non-heterosexual, even when I had never dated any women (I'm a woman, just to clarify).
For years, I questioned whether I was really "bi" because I had never had the experience of seeing an attractive woman and thinking "I want to have sex with her." But then one day I realized, I had also never had that thought about a man. That was when it all "clicked" for me. I have never been sexually attracted to anyone whose personality I didn't know. Sure, I have found many people to be generally "attractive" but that's not the same as wanting them sexually. I wasn't sexually attracted to male strangers any more than I was attracted to female strangers, and neither any more than I was attracted to androgynous strangers.
This was a great moment for me. Finally I realized that I didn't have to fantasize about having sex with women in order to be non-heterosexual, since I didn't fantasize about men either. I just have a low sex drive and my focus is elsewhere. For me, sex is just another form of intimacy, something that is nice to share with a partner, but if something were to happen that made sex impossible, it wouldn't end (for me) the relationship.
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).
The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 02-06-2012 at 01:26 AM.