My senior year of HS my friend, PonyGirl, and I used to hang out on weekends at a house that some of our friends had in the city. One weekend a mutual friend (Rube) brought two new guys to the house while they were home on spring break – MrS and JB. I had my eye on MrS but PonyGirl beat me to him. By the end of the evening MrS and PonyGirl had a little thing going and JB had asked me out.
JB and I got along really well in terms of interesting conversations and shared interests but he got knocked off my 'potential sex partner' list due to my “No Virgins” rule so we became friends instead. Over the next few months new friendships developed and a group of us – Me, PonyGirl, JB, MrS, Rube and SweetPea (MrS's ex-girlfriend/now FWB) and a few others - would hang out together regularly. Rube and I developed a FWB relationship, MrS and PonyGirl were seeing/sleeping with each other (he was of the understanding that this was a FWB scenario – she never said anything to the contrary). MrS was also sleeping with SweetPea (he was clear with her that this was a FWB-and-no-further situation, she voiced understanding but was still hoping they could get back together). Confused yet?
Some Backstory: the prior relationships of MrS
SweetPea was MrS's junior and high school girlfriend. They were together for 5 years or so and went through some serious shit together. When they were leaving to go to separate colleges, MrS says “I love you and will always be your friend but we aren't going to be seeing a lot of each other, and I think we should be free to see other people.” She says “NO! I love you and don't want to be with anyone else. We can do it.” He says “OK.” AND....she cheats on him. (Actually she had cheated on him before that too – not sure when he actually knew about that)
After MrS and SweetPea break up he starts dating NYGirl at college. They are together for about 2 years and then she is going to be going to a different campus for a year. MrS says “I love you but we aren't going to see much of each other, and I think we should be free to see other people. In a year, when we are on the same campus again, we can see if we want to be exclusive.” She says “NO! I love you and don't want to be with anyone else. We can do it.” He says “OK” AND...she cheats on him.
So, at the time I am meeting / friending/ flirting with him he is rather burned on relationships and being pursued by 3 girls who all appear to be on board with some friendly NSA FWB type sex. (Poor MrS)
For the first time in my life I found myself playing “games” try to get a boy interested in me (Ick!). For example, I usually drove when all of us friends would go out (my car could hold 7) - at the end of the evening I would feign fatigue and ask MrS to take over the driving and drop everyone off and then I would just have to drive home from his house. I'm thinking – alone in a car, at night, way out in the country...NOPE – the guy never made a move (...maybe if I had ever learned to bat my eyelashes?) At the time my usual method of chasing men was “letting them chase me while I ran very slowly” (to quote Mama Maureen in Heinlein's To Sail Beyond the Sunset
). Apparently MrS's method of seduction is to sit around having interesting conversations and looking sexy until some sweet young thing drags him bodily off into the bushes. [MrS makes no attempt whatsoever to deny this – says that it has always worked out pretty well, why change a system that works just fine?]
Passive seduction techniques + Passive seduction techniques = No sex with MrS for Jane.
It turned out that Rube, MrS, and I would all be attending the same college campus in the fall so I pretty much decided that I would have my chance at him then. I (apparently) made no secret of this intention – which led JB to make a bet with MrS that I would trip him within 3 days of getting to school (it only took 2). [When I tease MrS about this bet he says: “If I won I got paid, if I lost I got laid – where's the downside?”]
Anyway (got a little ahead of myself there) – don't think that I spent that summer just lusting after MrS and not getting anywhere – there were some of my prior partners that hadn't quite used up their 3 times yet, I met new people to play with when I went up to college for a pre-freshman summer session, AND... I discovered girls! And threesomes! [Actually I tease MrS that these developments were all his “fault”] ...but I'll save that for the next post...