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Old 02-05-2012, 06:17 PM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 651

Oh dear, no name calling intended, it was just a play on words that came to mind, nothing mean. How dare I … I like reading your posts

Well, the child topic is settled for now. We are quite content that no one of us will have severe problems with our plan, as we worked it out right now. And Sward is soooo endearing. *sigh* When we concluded what the debate brought to light and talked about the possible child on a theoretical basis he suddenly got teary eyes because he had to think about the peewee lying in his arms and how it would feel like and such … we need to set this plan in motion at the end of the year

I noticed a strange phenomenon that caught me by surprise: I was unconsciously sniffing at Sward and Lin during the last days. Like you would huff some glue to get high. That's so strange … especially because it had said effect. I am all over them. I noticed that I tend to inhale the odor of them from time to time and that I like it, but at the moment I go around and do this constantly. Has anyone ever heard of that? Or did that? Really strange.*scratches head*

This correlated with another issue I discovered yesterday evening. Sward was really tired and wanted to go to bed early. He doesn't like most of the things, that Lin and I like to watch after a long day to unwind (things like the German version of “Britain's got talent” - he hates people who aren't able to sing but think they are the next superstars, or “rent, buy, living” - a show about flats and houses). Be that as it may, I stayed behind with Lin, watched “Deutschland sucht den Superstar”, “Gothica” and a bit of “Demolition Man” and … got into a bad mood. The answer to 'why' isn't that easy to give. I will try.

There are basically three stages of 'longing' in regard to Sward and Lin. One is exclusively Sward, one is Lin and one is both of them simultaneously. And it tends to be hard if I am in the third one. Fortunately it doesn't happen that often. I don't know if this is common or if others can relate to it, but normally I am completely focused on one of them (physically). I noticed directly when Sward left the room that I was torn. I wanted to go to bed with him and I wanted to stay with Lin on the sofa. I stayed with Lin because I didn't want to watch Star Trek (I think Sward is watching the episodes from Deep Space Nine right now) but I couldn't calm down.

As it was getting later and later, I swayed between going to bed (my night with Sward), switching nights because I wanted to have more time with Sward and had effectively spend half of the night with Lin already, wanting Lin, wanting Sward, feeling bad for willfully deciding things on my own and being grumpy because I wanted both of them to be there. How I hate that. Finally I snuggled up with Lin as long as possible, inhaled as much as possible and went to sleep snuggled up behind Sward's back, nose at his neck. If we ever move into a flat with a spare room, I want a king size bed for these nights.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

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