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Old 02-04-2012, 07:12 PM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
This seems inconsistent with what we usually think of as romantic jealousy. For example, if your partner is out of town on business and he has a romantic date while he's there, some people would feel jealous of the other woman. But according to the "fear of loss" model, if the partner is already out of town then what are you losing? Isn't it more accurate to say you're envious of the other woman? And in the case of jealousy, you direct your emotions at her rather than the business that actually took your partner out of town? If she wasn't in the picture and the "date" was a dinner with a client, then few people would describe the longing for your partner as jealousy, even though the loss is identical in either situation.
The way I see it, if someone's out of town, you see them as returning. If they're on a romantic date, you could fear the loss of their return. (running off to join the circus/date)

My thought is that one reason people get married (only one, among thousands) is to stop that fear of loss. "I've married this person. It's forever. I never have to fear loss of this person." I'm not saying it's accurate, I'm not saying it's healthy. I'm saying I think it's common. [disclaimer: I've never been married.]
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)
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