Heh, nycindie - I had to look at at a few pics online to understand what you meant. Yeah, I getchya
Though I mostly get turned off by people's approach to sex or how they are physically intimate rather than their looks... and maybe it's a compatibility thing rather than anything else.
I made a comment previously about sometimes worrying about being selfish. What I mean is that... loving relationships are really pleasant, especially close friends or lovers who are a real comfort in my life. Yes, they challenge me but also support me immensely and we have a lot of fun and pleasure of course
Sometimes I wonder whether I'm being overly self-interested, given the other things I could be doing with my time. For example, I could choose to reach out into the community rather than soften my own personal life.
I tend to think this way when I'm feeling unbalanced. I sometimes feel like I'm enjoying myself too much and taking things too easy, surrounding myself with people who will be nice to me, and not doing my best to contribute to day-to-day life in wider society, doing things that I really would like to do but I deprioritise to make time for a lover.
Like, I could be helping out in the neighbourhood, or seeing more of a sick relative... but instead I'm filling my hours with more me-ish-time (cos time spent with close companions is sort of like me-time).
Of course nothing is really that simple (either-or) but I think this balance is a real one for me, and one that makes me feel a bit wobbly at times if I have been sliding one way or the other.
I guess it's similar to "work-life" balance, if "work" is community-facing things and "life" is my personal life.