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Old 02-04-2012, 05:11 AM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Deep South
Posts: 545

I'm assuming that the chemistry is great between your husband and his wife? Not sure if you are new to the lifestyle or not, but if you are new then you might as well realize that this is the norm. It's very rare to find 4 way compatibility. So- I agree that it's best to be honest right up front. I have been surprized at how open and honest people have been with me and my partner and I've appreciated it.

Some possible statements are "the chemistry wasn't right for me" or "My partner didn't feel that connection with you that he wanted to feel" or "I didn't feel the sexual connection I wanted to feel" "I didn't feel the sexual chemistry with your husband" "Or- I want to be friends, but the sexual chemistry isn't there for me" etc. etc.......I would just word the statement that you want to use and then just tell him.

If you and your husband are trying to find a couple where the sexual attraction is all the way around, then it's best to admit right up front that this isn't the couple for you.
Good luck!
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.
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