Originally Posted by JohnnyDangerously
The wife is really struggling with resolving this idea with her faith, though, and feels as if she's not being Christian by being open in this manner.
At the heart of the issue is what it means to be a Christian, and this takes digging into Scripture, digging into one's soul, and peeling off the layers of expectations that church -- not faith -- has pasted on a person.
When Moses asked God whom he should say sent him to demand the release of the Israelites, God answered Moses to tell them "I Am" had sent him. I'm told a more accurate translation is "I Am Becoming."
Earlier in Genesis, we are told that God created humans in God's own image -- the image of I Am, and I Am Becoming. So we are called at our most fundamental level to be all of who we are, and to be open to change and growth. We are NOT called to be who someone else tells us to be, nor are we called to stagnate.
I had to wrestle with "thou shalt not's." But they turned out to be speed bumps rather than road blocks. All the "thou shalt not's" were written for a specific population within a specific context. We don't live in that context.
Biblical adultery was a property crime in an age when women belonged first to their fathers and then to their husbands. Check out King David. David never committed adultery against his many wives. He only committed adultery against Bathsheba's husband -- because Bathsheba was Uriah's property. And this understanding of women as property does not apply to me in 2012. So I have to listen to the intent of the law rather than the letter, and figure out what it means in today's context. For me, it means consent and care and responsible behavior.
What then does Jesus tell us? Love God and love your neighbor.
"40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."
Matthew 22: 35-40
This is the essence of Christianity. To love God requires us to be whole and true and real and complete, in God's image. To love our neighbor requires us to put aside judgment and condemnation, and choose care and responsible behavior and consent.
As I find myself drawn to polyamory, I also find Christianity, at its truest essence, to be completely compatible the concepts. The challenge for me, then, is to practice it in a manner that incorporates my Christian essence: responsibility, care, consent, and keeping myself whole and true throughout.