Originally Posted by redpepper
I would guess it is doing worse now that you live there. She is obviously not happy, feels threatened by you and is jealous... this is why the control freak stuff. You aren't going to change this I don't think. She has to and that is unlikely going to happen with you living there. Again... move out.
Chicken or the egg?
Is the wife being a control freak because she's feeling jealous or insecure? Or is she a control freak by nature, and therefor she isn't making the slightest effort to manage her jealousy?
I think there's a need for professional therapy here. If she's literally not allowing him to have his own basic human rights, such as the right to his own "me time" (aka "liberty") then that's a dysfunctional relationship. Likely, there's nothing you could say or do that will make him realize that he has other options, because anything you say or do will likely be interpreted as you trying to come between them and break up their relationship.
No one but you can tell you the source of your emotions. It doesn't sound greedy to me, but people have been known to spin things to their advantage, so who knows?
The part I would take issue with, as the husband, is that she's looking for long-term boyfriends while at the same time interfering with her husband's existing relationship. She needs to learn that getting her own boyfriend is NOT a solution to the icky feelings she has about her husband having another romantic partner.