Thread: Help?
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Old 02-03-2012, 02:13 AM
Mollyme Mollyme is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1
Default Help?

I have been poly for the past 8 years. I have dated guys and girls. I have had boyfriends and girlfriends who had other partners. However, with my current primary (we have been together nearly 5 years), I always react badly when he has another partner. This has never happened with other partners and I don't understand why things are different with him. Tonight, he called his girlfriend just to say hi. Like usual, I had a harsh physical reaction. I got hot flashes, felt shaky all over, my heart felt like it was pounding very hard, etc. Further, I lose all desire to be physical with him, even something as simple as having him hold my hand. I just don't want him to touch me at all. All of this wears off after a few hours to a day (the physical symptoms wear off first, then the emotional). This has happened with every girlfriend he has had. I have never had this problem with any other primary or secondary. I have even been in a poly relationship while I was mono and my primary was not and that was okay! I keep trying to tell myself that this reaction is just temporary, but it doesn't seem to go away. My only thought is that it is something about my primary which is triggering this as it happens regardless of who he is seeing and has not happened with any other of my partners past or present. He is extremely open and honest with me about anything I want to know. We have talked about this extensively and neither of us have any idea what causes this. Why is this happening and HOW do I make it STOP?!?!
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