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Old 02-03-2012, 12:28 AM
jasminegld jasminegld is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 81
Default Learn her language

Originally Posted by bassman View Post
This is exactly what I'm up against at home, and "nothing you can say" rings true to me. So, I'm sure you'll agree theres no point in discussing it with her, is there?
I don't agree. I do, however, think you have to approach the discussion a different way.

You and your wife are speaking different religious languages. One of you has to learn the other's language.

Please understand: Learning to speak Christian has nothing to do with accepting dogma. It means figuring out how speak in terms of myth and story. People do this all the time, using all sorts of literature. We make casual references to Mr. Spock or Gilligan or Beaver Cleaver to refer to a larger concept in shorthand. So learn to do the same using Christian language.

For example, there's a Biblical passage about removing the board from your own eye before complaining about the mote in your neighbor's eye -- this is about projection. There's a passage in which Peter asks Jesus what will become of the "Beloved Disciple" -- this is about minding boundaries.

I recommend a book to you:
Remedial Christianity: What Every Believer Should Know about the Faith, but Probably Doesn't
by Paul Lana Laughlin
Polebridge Press -- the Jesus Seminar folks

Now I understand that you think the book has nothing to offer you in terms of your own religious needs or lack thereof.

But that's NOT the point.

The book might have something to offer your wife. If you read and learn the book, you might develop an ability to talk with her in a way that allows her to explore /examine her own faith more deeply.

Then the two of you just might find a way to communicate with each other on this challenging issue.

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